MY DENTIST AND ME

I was afraid that if I didn't go to see “In Their Eyes,” awarded an Oscar for Best Foreign Film, the next time Bob, DDS, had the opportunity to strap me down into his diabolical chair [Hi Bob!] he might take his displeasure out on my pearly whites because Bob just luuuved the film and was so sure I would, too. Little did he know that although I thrill to Socrates and “Leaves of Grass,” if asked, I would fearlessly declare that my all-time favorite movie is the hilarious romantic comedy, “Pillow Talk” (1959) starring Doris Day and Rock Hudson -- she of wonderful Jackiesque outfits and he a handsome, romantic cad. Quelle bliss! This gets to the crux of it. There are exceptions, but I tend to like movie-movies, not motion pictures that are designated as "Films." More on that in a moment.
       Even though Bob has been peering at me with a magnifying glass for lo' these umpteen years, there is an aspect of  my  psyche about which he clearly wasn’t aware. I am a pragmatist. A born problem solver. Sure, I have a sensitive, squishy side, but not when it comes to life’s bigger issues, e.g., being in love and making it happen, or at least trying, whereas the protagonists in “. . . Eyes” spent most of their adult lives in Argentina/subtitles [Ugh! to sts] not declaring, much less consummating, their love. (There's also murder mystery woven in.) I have no sympathy for those two. These two are just cowardly poops. But back to movies vs. films. Everything in film seems to take so much time and move like a snail. Hey stop throwing popcorn at me! It was inevitable. I became impatient and bored and, once again, left before all was said and done. (See "Greenberg," the May 5th post)

         It’s awfully lonely being me. I don’t dare go to the movies, except alone. My freedom to come and go as I please is paramount NPI. And as I did to my poor dentist, I’ve inadvertently disappointed and aghast many a friend with my minority opinions on some of their favorite films. I know: I’m an awful person. I guess I’ll just have to take out my video of  Pillow Talk once again, because it seems Doris and Rock and I really do seem to see eye-to-eye. Sorry again, Bob, DDS. Ooooouch!
       Even though, this time, I was the one inflicting the pain, Bob magnanimous told me what happened in the end. Can't tell. That's the reason I've kept coming back for more [torment.] It's because Bob, DDS, is one heck of a terrific guy.