VAMPIRES

I believe in vampires. Really, I do. They terrorize me with fangs smeared with clotted crimson blood, sending uncontrollable painful spasms down my cringing spine. I used to be an empirical realist until unequivocal proof was laid before me and I could no longer deny it: vampires actually do live among us. This is how I know. One day, soon after I bought a new computer, determined to give it a wonderful home, I discovered, to my horror, that deep within its turgid bowels there lived a ménage of ruthless vampires, given to attacking without pity, or reason, even though I treated it with all the love and respect to which a desktop could ever aspire. I dust  its keyboard. Wash its monitor ‘till it's sparkling clean. Feed its mouse. I even let it stay up late. And in the morning, when it awakes, I never fail to greet it with a warm “Hello,” But, no dice. None of it works. And forget about pleading and prayer. The only thing that scares the nasty buggers off is when I donate huge amounts of time and energy to an unintelligible, evil Microsoft minion who dwells in India – far, far away. New Delhi, to be exact. The minion, armed with a collection of [electronic] stakes, thrusts them deep into the desiccated hearts of the undead and things work OK for a while and I enjoy a slight reprise. Until next time.
         And though, here I sit here before you, still smarting from my latest bites, I must admit the following: Having survived so much, I have come to believe that I’m a really a better person because of my travails. Better insulated, better equipped to deal with the vagaries of life and all the ups-and-downs. And that’s a very good thing. And like most of life’s important lessons learned, it did exact a price. (I wonder,  Dear Reader, when looking back, do you feel as I do -- that this is a cost  you are more that willing to pay? I think if one can survive Microsoft, what is there really left to fear?